There is something to be said about IRC...

[rainy]

If IRCers don't idle, they actually provide some amusement. As to be seen on

http://qdb.us/ - IRC quote database

http://qdb.us/latest - Latest Quotes
http://qdb.us/top - Top50 quotes

[senorblinky]

Oh my holy soul, i had SOOOO much difficulty not laughing out loud on this one, it's absolute MAGIC! I KILLED MYSELF!

My favourites:
<SpannerGO0> HEY BICTHES
*** SpannerGO0 was kicked by sam88 (don't be a douche)
<BicThes> he was talking to me i think
<sam88> whoops

---

<Trinexx[4fk]> Vista makes me feel like a kid again. Not being able to do anything, having to get permission to talk to anybody, not being able to play any of the "cool" games, etc

---

<@hybrid> this commercial said "PeoplePC is your best choice for dial up and find out why JD Power & Associates Ranked Us Best Customer Service Among Dial-Up Service Users"
<@hybrid> and i thought... isnt that like an award for "Happiest Wife in Abusive Relationship?"

---

<Syntacs> I just cut my finger with a disposable tupperware container.
<Syntacs> If I'm ever the victim of a home invasion, I guess I'll know what to defend myself with.
<RedBeard> mini velociraptors?
<Syntacs> Right, but failing that, the disposable plastic containers I keep them in.

---

<Karg> I had a buddy once who thought it'd be real cool to huff glue.
<Karg> He was standing like in the middle of our group and he's like "hey guys, check this shit!"
<Karg> So he gets this glue.
<Karg> On the first huff he squeezes the bottle and ends up gluing his nose shut.
<Karg> Funniest hospital visit ever.

---

fibrosis> It has even been estimated that one in 10 Europeans are conceived in an Ikea bed.
dalamar> That's an awful lot of Ikea beds.
fibrosis> or a handful of very dirty beds

---

And finally...
Merchelo> no one uses cd's
nosmo> You ever wonder where mp3s come from?
nosmo> Your parents didn't give you "the talk"

Man, this was TOO good, thanks rainy!

[w1z4rd]

www.bash.org


<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.


<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?

and


<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?

Lots more there :D

[BambisRevenge]

I LOVED THEM!!! hahahaha packed out laughing at many of them!

haha thanks Rainy! :P

[Sminty]

That password one had tears running down my face...haven't laughed so loud in days!

[w1z4rd]

Love these ones (some may be censored for our younger viewers:


<erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.


<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick f****)
<anamexis> :<


<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?


<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
<Ben174> : Where u work?
<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)


<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back f*r"


<death09>my girlfriend broke up with me and sent me pix of her and her new boyfriend in bed
<ktp753>ouch.
<death09>yeah.i sent them to her dad

and


<Sonium> someone speak python here?
<lucky> HHHHHSSSSSHSSS
<lucky> SSSSS
<Sonium> the programming language

I know im spamming but some of these are funny :D

[Askari]

<Beeth> Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
<honx> well, you can stil get one from a strange country :-P

[TG]

There are some frikkin' brilliant quotes there. And Lolla keeps asking me why I'm giggling. :D

[Sminty]

The people in the office are looking at me funny...it doesn't really work when you put your hand over your mouth when you laugh....I have noticed.

[senorblinky]

This has GOT to be infamous by now

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
--------------
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

I hope i get to meet this smacktard, just so i can moer him!

[stoke]

someone speak python here ... :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Vortex]

I think it's classic.. You just KNOW that BritneySpears14 is a 14 yo boy right? :rofl:

"Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite" lol

[SaintMg]

damn I gotta write down your names or something

:roffel: :cry: :roffel:

as for the rest of them they are all funny as #@$% dam well nearly stoped breathing from all the laughing :sharp:

[Hoss]

<SpannerGO0> HEY BICTHES
*** SpannerGO0 was kicked by sam88 (don't be a douche)
<BicThes> he was talking to me i think
<sam88> whoops

This one was classic

[senorblinky]

Well, IRC are one thing, but i just had a conversation with one of my very bright (and i mean that with NO sarcasm) gamer friends. To me it's obvious that he didn't take his vitamins this morning, he had too little sleep, or he is drunk.
Here follows an email conversation i had with him between 9am and 10 am this morning (I'm not editing out the trivial stuff, so authenticity!)

<Blinky>: Ek is klaar met season 4 en halfpad met season 5 van 24.
My CPU het gistraand geblaas. Ek is upset, maar nou kan ek ‘n beter, vinniger ene koop… daar k*k R1000+

<FranktheTank>Season 5 is net die beste! Suck dat jou cpu geblaas het. so beteken dit dat jy glad nie jou rekenaar kan gebruik nie
of kan jy nog lewe uit hom squeeze tot en met jy n nuwe een kry?

<Blink>Dude, my CPU (CENTRAL PROCESSING UNIT) het geblaas, die kleinste dingetjie wat die meeste geld kos – wat dink jy sal ‘n rekenaar doen sonder ‘n CPU? Hy is Totally F****D, my MoBo werk, dis hoe ek weet die CPU het geblaas. Ek gaan sommer vanoggend ry om ‘n nuwe ene te kry.

<FranktheTank> Ja ek verstaan dit maar n mens kry somtyds n geluk skoot dat jy dit kan jippo maar anyway. Wat gan jy vir jou kry? dual core?

<Blinky> :slap:

True Story...

[senorblinky]

I think i just found Axel on an IRC... check it out:

<thou> yeah he isn't really that hrd..
<thou> *hard
<arak0n> lern sum grammer u *friggin* noob
<thou> damn if I were you, I wouldn't be worrying about other people's grammar.
<arak0n> it jus annois me when all them f*kin noobs cum in here, an u cant unerstand anytin they r sayin. it make me wana just leve the channel
* thou has left #wii (me too man. me too.)

[FeralBanana]

Being a n00b at games is a lot like having sex for the first time:
You're not quite sure if you should put this there, what that does and if you're doing the right thing, but it's still a lot of fun.

Unless you're getting raped.

[senorblinky]

I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED THIS!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! STUNNING!
Rep for you my chaana!
I'm not even going to post my latest IRC now... :rofl:

[Drusky]

* Apo[Herpes] is now known as Apo[Heroes]
<+Apo[Heroes]> WHY DIDN'T ANY TELL ME IT SAID HERPES?!!!
<+xpCynic> it looked intentional...
<+Apo[Heroes]> it wasn't
Comment: irc.esper.net #rohmacking

Meheheh

[Drusky]

I hope they update them :)

ATH0: I don't know why the Korean guys at school love Steve so much.
ATH0: He doesn't look too Korean.
Batman: He told me.
Batman: Basically, he beat them at StarCraft and became their king.


*** Saul has joined #general
<Saul> Man, today was awesome.
<Saul> We all got sent home like 5 hours early because the whole system shorted out and went down.
<kilik> explain.
<Saul> Well, in our office, the doors are always left open because the air con doesnt work.
<Saul> And as a result flies come in from outside.
<Saul> Last year we got some of those electric fly killers installed, you know the ones that glow blue and zap the flies that fly into them?
<Saul> Well today I'm at the watercooler taking a 5-min break.
<Saul> And I swear to God, the biggest bluebottle on the face of the Earth buzzes in.
<Saul> It's like 3 inches long.
<Saul> Goes straight for the zapper and flies into it.
<Saul> The explosion knocked out the power to the entire floor.


<fabz> I think we need to work on our communication.. one guy is talking crap, one just goes "lol" and the other one doesn't understand what's going on
<atsleek> lol
<Nefemus> what?

[Drusky]

Our very own :psycho:


<Punky3025> Somebody please skype/pm/xfire Meg and ask her if I can play...please 8D
<Vortex> I've asked her, but her Skype is offline..
<Onyx> Shall I ask her for you Punks?
<Punky3025> Noooooo. I think she might think that i though of gettin you guys to get her to think that SF was her idead. So I dont think so.....what do you think
<w1z4rd> I sent a PM
<Wingnut> Yes W1z4rd you sent a pm to me! I have no problem with Punky playing, but I'm not too sure MegNut will approve of me giving him permission to play... 8D
<Punky3025> OMW rofl
<W1z4rd> roflol. wrong nut.
<Sunnycash> lol rofl
bushy getting his nuts all twisted.
im going online now see ya all there.
<Drusky> This is better than those IRC chats rofl

[senorblinky]

For all you Bloodninja fans out there
http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/02/wizard.jpg

You'll either bust your gut laughing, or not get it at all...
I sincerely hope it's the former!

[Sir40]

:rolleyes:
Stool:> wondawomans new name is wrgthatdudedettegirl
WondaWoman:> i will kill you slowly when you get here stoolie
WondaWoman: > i still play bf2. I just prefer the other servers
sss:> lol
axel:> WondaWoman: ok cool im going to get SF soon so ya
axel: > sss: to anser ur ? me mic dont work so well on our wire less welll some time but im playing ut or bf 2142 on the net or im playing gw
WondaWoman:> yay. i can't wait.
Stool:> it will be a real slow kill if u doing it from hongkong
axel:> Stool: so stool when u comming to sa
sss:> roflcopter
sss:> they wont give stool a passport, cause he has a criminal record
sirfortie:> lol rofl
Stool:> man o man
sirfortie:> and rofl
Vortex:> lol
sirfortie:> woot
Stool:> axel when u comming to visit my country?
axel:> Stool: were u again dude
Stool:> i thought you could tell me, i feel a lil lost now

:rofl:

[Drusky]

Heheheh

#813975 +(589)- [X]

<Snakeman^Engineer> Do I sense some hatred towards Windows Vista originating from your direction?
<Chrysalid^Revenge> Oh no, not at all
* Chrysalid^Revenge stands up in a medieval recitation pose
<Chrysalid^Revenge> "OS X for the Mac users, pretentious in their coffeeshops
<Chrysalid^Revenge> Gentoo for the nerd-lords in their mother's basement
<Chrysalid^Revenge> XP for the everyday user, bound to muck around with bloody settings and registry values they should damn well leave alone
<Chrysalid^Revenge> Then Vista from the Dark Lord behind his desk
<Chrysalid^Revenge> In the Microsoft office, where crappy programming is performed
<Chrysalid^Revenge> One OS to eat your RAM, One OS to spy on your digital media
<Chrysalid^Revenge> One OS to screw them all, and in frustration bind them
<Chrysalid^Revenge> In the Microsoft office, where crappy programming is performed"
<Sectoid^Authopsy> Whoa!

[Voicy]

For all you Bloodninja fans out there
http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/02/wizard.jpg

You'll either bust your gut laughing, or not get it at all...
I sincerely hope it's the former!

Dude, bloodninja is quite possibly the funniest oke on bash.org

/me puts on his cloak and wizard hat

[senorblinky]

Man, what an awesome thread to rediscover. I lolled like in the days of old, and tried to give rep to Lycan for that "Games vs Sex" statement, but i already did... Classic, classic, classic stuff!

[WingNut]

hehehe...

<+HoCkster> I got an official warning from my bank
<+HoCkster> I usually pay my rent as "Columbian Drug Money", they never objected
<+HoCkster> but then I forgot my mates cell phone number,
<+HoCkster> we were both doing internet banking at the same time right
<@Lilzvixen> welcome to my room
<+HoCkster> so I give him a 1 cent payment going "What's your number"
<+HoCkster> and we start having this whole conversation
<+HoCkster> it was like webchat
<+HoCkster> so like 87 payments later, the bank rings me up and were like
<+HoCkster> "have you thought of getting MSN?"

[TG]

:rofl: Classic!

Unfortunately wouldn't work here cuz of all the frikkin' transaction fees! You'd be bankrupt before long :p

[Vortex]

I pay a standard rate regardless of how much I transfer and how many times.. So this would work quite nicely.. erm.. sorta.. :D

OK, Skype or xfire is better..

[senorblinky]

Seriously Fortie?
Nedbank? Which Bank?
Nedbank used to be the most expensive, but Standard bank recently hate a rate hike, stating and i quote "To discourage their customers from undesirable behaviour"

Eina, ne?

[w1z4rd]

:rofl: Classic!

Unfortunately wouldn't work here cuz of all the frikkin' transaction fees! You'd be bankrupt before long :p

LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!

[Voicy]

kekeke ... i read so much bash.org i forget what's real and what isnt.

[senorblinky]

ED: You see a well groomed garden. In the middle, on a small hill, you
see a gazebo.
ERIC: A gazebo? What color is it?
ED: (Pause) It's white, Eric.
ERIC: How far away is it?
ED: About 50 yards.
ERIC: How big is it?
ED: (Pause) It's about 30 ft across, 15 ft high, with a pointed top.
ERIC: I use my sword to detect good on it.
ED: It's not good, Eric. It's a gazebo.
ERIC: (Pause) I call out to it.
ED: It won't answer. It's a gazebo.
ERIC: (Pause) I sheathe my sword and draw my bow and arrows. Does it
respond in any way?
ED: No, Eric, it's a gazebo!
ERIC: I shoot it with my bow (roll to hit). What happened?
ED: There is now a gazebo with an arrow sticking out of it.
ERIC: (Pause) Wasn't it wounded?
ED: OF COURSE NOT, ERIC! IT'S A GAZEBO!
ERIC: (Whimper) But that was a +3 arrow!
ED: It's a gazebo, Eric, a GAZEBO! If you really want to try to
destroy it, you could try to chop it with an axe, I suppose, or you
could try to burn it, but I don't know why anybody would even try.
It's a @#$%!! gazebo!
ERIC: (Long pause. He has no axe or fire spells.) I run away.
ED: (Thoroughly frustrated) It's too late. You've awakened the gazebo.
It catches you and eats you.
ERIC: (Reaching for his dice) Maybe I'll roll up a fire-using mage so
I can avenge my Paladin.

[WingNut]

lol, yeah I saw that the other day, hosed myself!

teehee...

<trivy> 019.168. Acronym Soup: DAP ?
<trivy> 1st Hint: ******* ******* ******** BONUS Question Value : 55000 Points
<trivy> 2nd Hint: par**** ******* ******** 46.7 secs & 55000 Points Remaining
<tobrie> ...
<tobrie> thats not right
<abigale> hmm
<trivy> 3rd Hint: pare*** a*ai*** ****e*ia 23.3 secs & 55000 Points Remaining
<Halffast> maybe it's foreign
<trivy> Times up! The answer was -> parents against dyslexia <-

[stoke]

:D ... i love laphabet soup.

[senorblinky]

22 Hours Ago 02:30 PM senorblinky
What's big, and sounds like a mouse?

22 Hours Ago 02:31 PM Vortex
Something enormouse?

22 Hours Ago 02:31 PM Onyx
I got the funniest e-mail today about "Jannie en sy juffrou" - now that i read blinks' question

(edits)

22 Hours Ago 02:32 PM senorblinky
a house


22 Hours Ago 02:35 PM senorblinky
ok, ok so it's lame, but the tickle thing is at least still funny...

22 Hours Ago 02:35 PM Vortex
I prefer my answer

22 Hours Ago 02:35 PM BlackSheep
I vote for vorty's

22 Hours Ago 02:36 PM Onyx
ditto

22 Hours Ago 02:37 PM senorblinky
Hehehehehe - ok, i'll give it to you, when you retell the joke, you can tell it like that. That's actually ver sharp!

22 Hours Ago 02:38 PM Vortex
3 votes - do I get rep?

22 Hours Ago 02:38 PM senorblinky
You get chatbox rep! (And there's no counting your own votes, bliksem! :roffel:)


22 Hours Ago 02:38 PM Onyx
for shizzle!


22 Hours Ago 02:38 PM Vortex
*Vortex has found that being a rep whore doesn't work all that well.. *

22 Hours Ago 02:39 PM senorblinky
*senorblinky concurs with Vorty's assessment... but will give him some, cause he deserves it!*

22 Hours Ago 02:39 PM Vortex
:yahoo:

---
And i did giveth Rep, but what i'm looking forward to is Onyx's HipHop single... Fo' Shizzle... :rofl:

[blitzkriegbunny]

<Zimbu> Listening to WvSoulja's raps is like masturbating with a cheese grater-- sorta amusing, but mostly painful.

ROFL

<prok> heh they set up one of those temporary radar speed detector things yesterday, the ones that tell you how fast you're going
<prok> with a big sign
<prok> i did about 5 laps around it trying to get my car up to 120
<ShizCakes> You know it takes your picture if it starts blinking when you go past it, right?
<prok> whoops



<Kacey> if I wsa president, I would change the "In God We Trust"
to "In Goats We Thrust"


<[ric]> jeez... why is it the boss always walks in on me when I am typing
on irc?
<[ric]> oh, yeh.. it's because I am always typing on irc.. :)

<jre> One time I went into a stupid donut shop to take a pee-pee. They had a sign that said: PLEASE "FLUSH TOILET" BEFORE LEAVING. Flush toilet was in parentheses. So I assumed it was code for something
<jre> So I "pissed in the sink"

<phr0work> using linux is like using windows, except every time you try to do something like install a program or a driver or set a different resolution, a big black dude runs in and kicks you in the side of the head

[Drusky]

We are not alone



<C-Johnson> holy shit
<C-Johnson> 420,000 people without power in miami
* C-Johnson has quit (Read error: Operation timed out)
<phlux> 420,001*

[rainy]

Some new stuff that has me rolling in stitches right now...

<nero> HTML without CSS is like a gun without ammunition
<nero> you can beat people to death with the butt of a gun, but bullets are so much more efficient

________________________________________________________________________

<Quag7> Is there a way of enforcing a specific permissions octal on any new files created in a directory, irrespective of a user's umask?
<raf> I don't discuss philosophy on IRC

________________________________________________________________________

<Myrf> I was giving some guy a job interview today, and it turned out he didn't know who the Beatles were.
<Myrf> So, of course, I had to turn him down :P
<bozz> wtf, a bunch of people don't know who the beatles are
<bozz> whyd you have to turn him down just because of that
<Myrf> Dude, I work at a RECORD STORE.

________________________________________________________________________

sterano: Whats the difference between Raid_0 and Raid_1?
Steve: In Raid_0 the zero stands for how many files you are going to get back if something goes wrong.

________________________________________________________________________

<Crucial> whats a quick way to push ipconfig /release, ipconfig /renew to 50 or
so workstations
<Mo> cycle power to the building
________________________________________________________________________

<+Clive> news.bbc.co.uk headlines: Police are searching bins in a bid to find fresh clues in their hunt for missing schoolgirl Shannon Matthews.
<+Clive> So... they're looking for a laden bin?

________________________________________________________________________

<Guillotine>: The problem with being Democrat is that if you vote for Obama, you're sexist. And if you vote for Hilary, you're racist. Its easy being a Republican. No matter what you're retarded.

[TG]

:rofl:

AWESOME.

[Voicy]

<gaarie> who the f*** names a lake winnipesaukee
<DX|laptop> indians
<ch> yep
<gaarie> truth
<DX|laptop> and not the tech support kind
<ch> the casino kind

---------------------

<Codi> Windows is unprotected sex. Linux is using a condom, the pill, a vasectomy, and the Berlin wall.

---------------------

<Koushiro> ... you know your computer's screwed up when IE freezes and then displays an error message: "Error. Unable to access error.dll".

---------------------

<Tovart|Away> Pino, i'm wondering
<Tovart|Away> You're from Japan, right?
<pino> ‚g‚‰�I
<Tovart|Away> I'll take that as a yes.

---------------------

<Daishi> i cant code though...but its on my list..right above learn klingon and right below get a gf

---------------------

<Superpig> my uncle has a celeron
<Superpig> would XP run on it, do you think?
<ravuya> about as well as a dog runs with no legs or torso
<ravuya> and with bricks tied to its head
<ravuya> at the bottom of a solid concrete pool
<ravuya> filled with dead corpses and rocks
<Superpig> so, about the same as it runs on my P4 then
<ravuya> more or less

---------------------

(@Aircraftkiller) I want a drum of oil
(@Aircraftkiller) They're only like $50 I think, full barrel of oil
(@Aircraftkiller) I just want the barrel of oil
(@Aircraftkiller) Then
(@Aircraftkiller) When someone comes over, and asks you "hey dude, is that a drum of oil? Real oil?" You can say "Yeah. Where's YOUR oil?"
(@Aircraftkiller) Because real men own oil.

--------------------

[Drusky]

...

<DaMouse> HP should make weaponry
<zid`> nah
<zid`> the ammo would cost more than the gun



<Amul Muzz> Why do I get the feeling that this is really a mob, just waiting for someone to say something they do not agree with?
<chrismjr> That's the best description for the internet I've ever heard



<piercings> A programmer started to cuss
<piercings> Because getting to sleep was a fuss
<piercings> As he lay there in bed
<piercings> Looping 'round in his head
<piercings> was: while(!asleep()) sheep++;

[Voicy]

<radead> (number of slashdot posts x ultima online character level)^(number of dime sized zits on face)/(girlfriends had before + 1) = sizeOf(nerd)
<radead> girlfriends had before + 1 so we don't get a divide by zero error

[senorblinky]

i thought this was hilarious!

[16 Minutes Ago 03:26 PM] voicy: My mate had this friend who was heavily bipolar
[16 Minutes Ago 03:26 PM] voicy: I used to call her Lucky Packet girl - coz you never know what you're going to get
[16 Minutes Ago 03:26 PM] voicy: he reckons she's the closest thing he's ever going to come to a 3some

[Voicy]

kekeke blinkster ... I'm sure you know that 'mate' of mine by now.

Whenver I refer to an something odd and I dont call my 'mate' RB , it's safe to assume i'm referring to my less conventional mate, Stinkthumb.

Daai ou is nie lekker nie.

[Voicy]

[1 Hour Ago 02:09 PM] spAc3dd: hopefully I'm gonna get some this weekend
[1 Hour Ago 02:09 PM] spAc3dd: heh heh
[1 Hour Ago 02:10 PM] spAc3dd: and some
[1 Hour Ago 02:15 PM] voicy: dude ... we dont wanna know.
[59 Minutes Ago 02:21 PM] spAc3dd: har har
[19 Minutes Ago 03:01 PM] sss: my girlfriend is the best, last night she said to me, " massage my boobs", she googled it and it said it would make them bigger
[18 Minutes Ago 03:02 PM] WingNut: lol, that is pretty awesome
[18 Minutes Ago 03:02 PM] WingNut: erm...why did she google boob massaging?
[17 Minutes Ago 03:03 PM] sss: i didn't ask about that, was busy
[17 Minutes Ago 03:03 PM] WingNut: just curious... wanna see if I can manipulate the conversation so my chick also gets curious and go google it...
[16 Minutes Ago 03:04 PM] sss: i dunno, i wasn't around when she did it, just said she had a sore back, so i must massage, then half way through mentioned to move to the boobs
[14 Minutes Ago 03:06 PM] WondaWoman: not that I don't find your dating lives fascinating... but go chat somewhere else about this - like pronboyfriends.com
[10 Minutes Ago 03:10 PM] sss: no, this is a man website now


:psycho:

[Badapple]

:rofl:

[WingNut]

Sorry noodle, this is the shoutbox message you read that just disappeared. :o
The shoutbox mangled it a bit, plus I thought it may be a bit too much to be displayed there on the font page :D


Originally Posted by bash.org
#608100
<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet
<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied
<emoti_conartist> lol
<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy
<cassius_clay13> so he ****ing KICKS one of the stall doors open
<cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a s**t
<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha
<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh s**t... if i were taking a s**t and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to f**k him up... so i'd better hit him first'
<cassius_clay13> so he f**king SMACKS this guy in the face
<cassius_clay13> and runs away
<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER

[Stool]

what on earth

[rainy]

#176439 (82/186)

<IpodLinux> Ubuntu is African word for "I just switched from windows"

[rainy]

< Frowardd> this channel, collectively, is alikened to a bundle of burning cigarettes
< Frowardd> ie, full of nicotine and bad for me.
< Frowardd> goodnight
<@relsqui> that was the subtlest way to call us all fags ever
< Selig> relsqui: what was?
<@relsqui> exactly.

[rainy]

<The Alchemist> you know
<The Alchemist> wow have been useful for me
<The Alchemist> from time to time, as a wannabe game developer, i feel this urge to make a online game
<The Alchemist> then i check the wow comunity
<The Alchemist> and then i see that if one day i make a online game, will have to deal with those same retards, and the urge goes away