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Punky3025
23rd May 2007, 09:24 AM
Sometimes a story just needs to be told. This is a story of revenge, great fighting skill, wisdom, humour and......dead horde.

The once was a gnomish mage called Shortmage who ventured forth on a quest for a lost book. The quest lead him to a small seaside hamlet called South Shore. There seemed much to do around the place and many beasties to kill so He decided to make it home, placing his hearthstone there so he could pop back at anytime.

Shortmage went forth on many quests from the small Hamlet and killed many Ogres Yetis and mean mean beasties. Many levels of experience were gained in this small little town. The only problem with South Shore is the neighbouring orcish squatter town of Tauren Mill. It would seem that it was weekend fun for the Horde to slaughter the poor farmers and low level characters in and around South Shore. It was here that a deep resentment and hatred of Horde was fuelled in the heart of the gnomish mage. It became his mission to kill Horde on site (level dependant of course. He is a very wise mage). Unfortunately much time was spent by the mage going back to fetch his beaten body....surrounded by HORDE PRINTS.

As time would have it the mage ventured forth into the Elfish lands to seek his childhood friend, Oakroot. Oakroot had made a right mess of the elf lands and somebody had to clean up :D. Its was also Oakroot who tried, as all elves do, to restore some balance to the mage. His policy of "Only kill Horde if they try to kill you first" seemed to work. He even had the bitter little gnome waving at Horde.

Now with the background set the tale of REVENGE can begin.
The time came when the Gnomish mage reach the level of 60. To celebrate he decided that it was time for a trip home to South Shore. There was also some pressing business of collecting herbs to make up health potions for another elfish friend he had met called Titan Rogue. South Shore was a veritable garden for these herbs. After a portal and a lengthy Griffon flight Shortmage arrive back home in South Shore and proceeded to gather up herbs along the river bank. On the opposite side of the river he noted that three Horde bastards were watching him. Remembering the words of his long suffering friend Oakroot he waved at the Horde scum and got on with his work.
Of course you all know what happened next..... Yes that’s right. The horde waved back, turned and rode off into the distance.
Evil was however on there mind as one of them, a level 55 rogue decided to double back and back stab the mage. Being nasty evil bastards genetically, his weak kneed friends decided to forget their gesture of peace and joined the rogue in his despicable deed.
An explosion of fire, ice and arcane lights rocked the forest. The rogue's first and usually deadly backstab had missed its mark. For his trouble the mages turned him into a sheep and then turned to deal with his accomplices. Shortmage fought desperately hurling all manner of spell and defence at his command. Finally, near to death and exhaustion the mage spat on the three horde corpses at his feet.

A passing Paladin dwarf stopped to heal the almost dead mage. It seemed that the Horde trio bad jumped him as well. The less fortunate dwarf had perished at the hands of the horde and was on the war path. Thus the tide turned and the alliance of dwarf healer and gnomish mage made their way to Tauren Mill. Anything which was horde or belonged to horde was slaughtered. Vengeance was the order of the day. Eventually surrounded by bloodied and charred corpses the Gnome and the Dwarf stood in the town square of Tauren Mill.

T’was about that time that wisdom needed to come into play. The sky grew dark with the wings of bats as Horde defenders flew in from the corners of the Horde lands. Being a wise mage the gnome said to the dwarf "Lets mount up and ride mate. I just saw 3 level 70's"

And so it came to pass that the Horde attacked South Shore in revenge. The gnome and the dwarf fought a retreating defence. The road to south shore was painted with blood. A mixture of much orc with a dash of gnome and dwarf. The griffons descended as the Alliance answered the call to defend South Shore. The battle raged back and forth. It however soon became evident that the horde had only two people in mind. The gnomish mage and the Dwarfish Paladin. Beaten back out of South Shore the Horde gathered for one final assault. Feeling that they had earned a rest the mage and dwarf went into the pub to have a beer.

And so we come to the part of the tale where the horde end up in the Pub.
Such was thei lust for the blood of the mage and the dwarf that the Horde launched and attack centred on them. The sounds of grunting horde drew the mage from the bottom of his beer mug. The horde had fought there way through the centre of South Shore and into the pub. They had come to fetch the mage and healer. Refreshed by the beer and feeling twice as brave the mage and dwarf faced the two level 70's which had entered the pub. Beaten and bleeding they attacked. The pub was smashed and burned as flames were thrown and axes hacked.......and then triumph. With his final burst of mana the mage called down a hail storm which restored peace and tranquillity to the body strewn pub.

And thus ends the tale to date. The gnome and the dwarf remain great friends. The owner of the pub and peace keepers of South Shore were however less than pleased and asked them to vacate their rooms and move their hearthstones. The mage was a little upset, but the taste of sweet revenge and South Shore ale was too fresh on his tongue to argue.

Darnit696
23rd May 2007, 09:36 AM
Bravo! :sharp:

Titan
23rd May 2007, 10:12 AM
I give Punky 10/10 for this brilliant tale of bravery against all odds, great writing and I hope it's not the last.
Let us make this the thread of tales dedicated to the erradiction of the scum we call Horde...

gus
23rd May 2007, 10:34 AM
Screen shot?

And I really enjoyed reading it. Please keep it up. :sharp:

Punky3025
23rd May 2007, 10:49 AM
Screen shot?

And I really enjoyed reading it. Please keep it up. :sharp:



Okay here are me and the dwarf :drunk:.

And here is me beating up a Horde :chair:

Titan
23rd May 2007, 11:08 AM
@Punky....:roffel:

Onyx
24th May 2007, 12:37 AM
I really enjoyed reading that Punks. :D

Eagerly awaiting more such tales.

Sminty
24th May 2007, 09:51 AM
LOL, great read...have you considered a new carrer perhaps? ;)

Saxon
25th May 2007, 02:51 PM
A great read, thanks Punky... remind me to stay clear of certain Gnomish mages when in the heat of PvP.

Look forward to joining up with you sometime soon (if my Telkom line/connection is repaired this century!)

Darnit696
26th May 2007, 10:45 AM
Telkom.... that must be like a horde skill or something.

Prolly called "Telksify" - target is dazed and disorientated for 6 months and will stare off into the distance while drool drips from the side of their mouth. Any attempts to heal will reapply the condition.

Punky3025
28th May 2007, 08:16 AM
:rofl: ...... I think

Megnut3025
28th May 2007, 10:46 PM
Brilliant Story Mr Punky... I never knew you were such a brave boy.. :p

I must come and watch you in action one evening!! :woot:

And I've been wondering where you've been...and all this time U were in the pub :D

Great read... hope to see some more!! :bow:

Punky3025
5th June 2008, 01:42 PM
A moment from the past when the guild was about 4 strong

veer477
5th June 2008, 02:19 PM
Very kewl Punky. I njoyed reading that :D

Nitty
5th June 2008, 02:26 PM
Very kewl indeed. Thanks for providing a fun read :)

Matt
5th June 2008, 02:29 PM
:woot: to da punky, great read, enjoyed it alot, wow, a lot of horde unders your belt now, eh???

Voicy
5th June 2008, 02:38 PM
Real nice read, uncle Punky :sharp:

It's just weird to imagine that all the lvl70s in our clan were n00bs at one stage too.

I really look forward to more tales from the crit.

senorblinky
5th June 2008, 02:42 PM
Some of them are STILL noobs dude... (like me :blush: )

Punky3025
5th June 2008, 03:33 PM
In the depth of the WoW archives there are a few. Seek and ye shall find.

sirfortie
5th June 2008, 04:19 PM
Soon we shall all have tales to tell.
:bow: @ the :punk:

senorblinky
5th June 2008, 04:24 PM
Ja, it's official, Punky and TG tell the best flippen WoW stories, i've tried, but i just can't seem to nail that 'mythical' aura that encapsulates the story. I can just tell it, like i would tell it, in a nonsensical (yet hopefully comical) manner.

Pshygon
11th July 2008, 05:20 PM
Brilliant!

Megnut3025
12th July 2008, 05:15 PM
I had actually forgotten this story... reread it and then saw I had actually posted that I had read it a loong time ago!! Even a better read now that I have experienced my own Hordie encounters... so the revenge definately seems sweeter now :D

Looking forward to some wow later tonight :woot:

CarRi0n
13th July 2008, 01:19 AM
Ahahahahaha, bloody awesome Punks. So the guy responsible for all the horde attacks on the geeks started with you. So my name is cleared. :D

I really loved the story, well done.