Jokes

[Sabre]

Just got to share this:

After our last child was born, my wife told me we had to cut back on expenses -
I had to give up drinking beer. I was not a big drinker, maybe a 12-pack on
weekends.

Anyway, I gave it up but I noticed the other day when she came home from
grocery shopping, the receipt included $50 worth of makeup.

I said, "Wait a minute I've given up beer and you haven't given up
anything!"

She said, "I buy that makeup for you, so I can look pretty for you."

I told her, "push off, that's what the beer was for!"

[rainy]

I hope that wasn't a real life story... :rofl:

Anyway, I got this one, though not completely accurately reproduced:

A guy has an appointment with the receiver of revenue, and he wonders what to wear. So he asks his parents who tell him to wear his best suit - 'You have to make a good impression'. To get a second opinion, he asks his best friend, who tells him that smart casual does it, no need to be fancy.

Confused, he goes and talks to his priest, and tells him about the contradiction. The priest tells him the following story:

A young girl who was about to get married wondered wat to wear in her wedding night. Her parents told her to waer a high-closed woolen nightgown, while her best friend recommends to wear her skimpiest negligé.

The young man says 'Father, that's an interesting story, but what exactly does it have to do with my problem?'

The priest replies 'Everything. Wear whatever you want - you'll get screwed either way.'

[NerdBoyZa]

:rofl:

[Darnit696]

A man walks into his bedroom to find his wife packing her bags.
"Whats going on?" he asks
"Well I can get Aus$400 per time for what I'm giving you for free" she replies.
The man watches her for a short while and then walks out.
She finishes packing and takes her bags to the car, then she goes looking for the man to say a final goodbye. She finds him in the bedroom packing his bags.
"Where are you going?" she asks
"Well I thought I'd come with, its going to be interesting to see how you are going to live on Aus$800 a year!"

[Twi$teD_360]

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