rainy
1st June 2006, 08:21 PM
Found on SGS, apparently ripped from BF2S:
Executive: Our ears on the web say that the fans are at a fever pitch to see this game released. We've gotta drop it now.
Developer: But we're still working on the Laser designation, tweaking the accuracy on some of the infantry weapons, adjusting the AA tracking and . . .
Exec: If there is one thing that I learned in business school, you have to give them what they want while they want it, else they get it from someone else.
Dev: But we haven't added the European Army, or the highly requested maps on US soil yet. Don't get me started on the "progress" over at DICE Canada. Plus, there seems to be an issue where names appear red instead of . . .
Exec: That's what patches are for son. Did I not annunciate? This game is going out the door right now. The only question is, "are you going out the door with it"?
A few months later.
Exec: We've been hyping this special forces expansion pack. Where is it?
Dev: We've got the core system down, but we haven't finished most of the weapons or found a new "ability" for the medic or engineer yet.
Exec: Are you kidding me? Do you know what season it is? It's ****ing Christmas. Over half of our yearly revenue is generated during the last days of December and you're telling me that the follow up to the biggest FPS of the year isn't ready?
Dev: We've been working around the clock, but we don't want to do this half assed . . .
Exec: We're EA. "Half assed" is what we do. Tell me, do you have the tier 2 unlocks yet?
Dev: All but 2. We didn't include enough ranks in the initial release.
Exec: Well, have Armando make up some mumbo jumbo about "we felt that the (left out kits) had solid tier 1 unlocks and therefore, didn't need tier 2 unlocks".
Dev: But we still only have the Seal weapons partially finished. We haven't even gotten started on the others.
Exec: Damn it. What would my 3rd year professor do? Got it. Give one of the armies the tier 2 weapons as their defaults.
Dev: But Sir . . .
Exec: Just do it. The other armies. . they're pretty close to the Middle East, give them all the MEC weapons.
Dev: Sir, the fans wont let us get away with that.
Exec: Ha! How many patches has it been since we've "addressed" the red name bug? They'll let us Cleveland steamroll their mothers if we "address it" properly.
Dev: But what about the Special Forces Medic and Engie not having an exclusive ability?
Exec: Pretend we didn't notice. They'll forget about it soon enough.
A New Year's Eve Party
Exec: Johnson?
Dev: It's "Joseph" sir.
Exec: Right. What happened to that content that you didn't finish in time for the release of BF2?
Dev: The European Army and the Maps on US Soil? They're in the archives.
Exec: I've had a stroke of genius. My son asked for some trading cards over the holiday. When I asked him what these different packages were called, he said they were "booster packs". When I asked him what made them different from the big box of the same cards that he also got he said; now get this, "The booster packs don't have as much content as the big package. Because they add only a few new things, the booster packs cost less". Do you see where I'm going with this Johnson?
Dev: It's "Joseph."
Exec: We package the content that we’re going to include in the original game as a "booster pack". Hell, make it TWO booster packs. Then, we make them available only through online purchase via the EA downloader that we've been working on. We'll get them used to buying stuff from us online and make money off of something they should have gotten with their initial purchase, all at the same time. Genius!
Dev: That's one word for it.
Exec: You know what another word for it could be? . . . "You're fired!"
Dev: That's 2 words sir.
Executive: Our ears on the web say that the fans are at a fever pitch to see this game released. We've gotta drop it now.
Developer: But we're still working on the Laser designation, tweaking the accuracy on some of the infantry weapons, adjusting the AA tracking and . . .
Exec: If there is one thing that I learned in business school, you have to give them what they want while they want it, else they get it from someone else.
Dev: But we haven't added the European Army, or the highly requested maps on US soil yet. Don't get me started on the "progress" over at DICE Canada. Plus, there seems to be an issue where names appear red instead of . . .
Exec: That's what patches are for son. Did I not annunciate? This game is going out the door right now. The only question is, "are you going out the door with it"?
A few months later.
Exec: We've been hyping this special forces expansion pack. Where is it?
Dev: We've got the core system down, but we haven't finished most of the weapons or found a new "ability" for the medic or engineer yet.
Exec: Are you kidding me? Do you know what season it is? It's ****ing Christmas. Over half of our yearly revenue is generated during the last days of December and you're telling me that the follow up to the biggest FPS of the year isn't ready?
Dev: We've been working around the clock, but we don't want to do this half assed . . .
Exec: We're EA. "Half assed" is what we do. Tell me, do you have the tier 2 unlocks yet?
Dev: All but 2. We didn't include enough ranks in the initial release.
Exec: Well, have Armando make up some mumbo jumbo about "we felt that the (left out kits) had solid tier 1 unlocks and therefore, didn't need tier 2 unlocks".
Dev: But we still only have the Seal weapons partially finished. We haven't even gotten started on the others.
Exec: Damn it. What would my 3rd year professor do? Got it. Give one of the armies the tier 2 weapons as their defaults.
Dev: But Sir . . .
Exec: Just do it. The other armies. . they're pretty close to the Middle East, give them all the MEC weapons.
Dev: Sir, the fans wont let us get away with that.
Exec: Ha! How many patches has it been since we've "addressed" the red name bug? They'll let us Cleveland steamroll their mothers if we "address it" properly.
Dev: But what about the Special Forces Medic and Engie not having an exclusive ability?
Exec: Pretend we didn't notice. They'll forget about it soon enough.
A New Year's Eve Party
Exec: Johnson?
Dev: It's "Joseph" sir.
Exec: Right. What happened to that content that you didn't finish in time for the release of BF2?
Dev: The European Army and the Maps on US Soil? They're in the archives.
Exec: I've had a stroke of genius. My son asked for some trading cards over the holiday. When I asked him what these different packages were called, he said they were "booster packs". When I asked him what made them different from the big box of the same cards that he also got he said; now get this, "The booster packs don't have as much content as the big package. Because they add only a few new things, the booster packs cost less". Do you see where I'm going with this Johnson?
Dev: It's "Joseph."
Exec: We package the content that we’re going to include in the original game as a "booster pack". Hell, make it TWO booster packs. Then, we make them available only through online purchase via the EA downloader that we've been working on. We'll get them used to buying stuff from us online and make money off of something they should have gotten with their initial purchase, all at the same time. Genius!
Dev: That's one word for it.
Exec: You know what another word for it could be? . . . "You're fired!"
Dev: That's 2 words sir.