Darnit696
13th June 2006, 08:36 AM
Copied unashamedly from somewhere else
"I once went 13 YEARS without drinking. Then I hit high school and it
was all kinda downhill from there."
- Modern Drunkard Magazine, Staff Member
"Whoever said that the human body is a beautiful thing has clearly
never spent an afternoon by the swimming pool at the Merton Hotel in
Jersey."
- Richard Herring
"The lordship of a manor confers no title. Oh, you could call yourself
a lord, but everyone else would call you a prick."
- Terry Pratchett
"Just imagine we are meeting the aliens for the first time. Most
people would just shoot them to see how many points they are worth."
- Simon Cozens
A computer programmer is someone who, when told to "Go to Hell", sees
the "Go to", rather than the destination, as harmful."
- Unknown
"If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, there's going to be
one big-ass fight over where to set the thermostat."
- Jim Rosenberg
"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group
for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
- Drew Carey
"Don’t use one of those little Handi-Vac things to empty an ashtray.
Because the inrush of air could potentially reignite any fading
embers. And, uh, a big jet of flame might shoot out of the thing,
surprising you and making you scream like a ten-year-old girl. And you
might knock over your beer."
- Patrick Hughes
"Should you ever decide to use bamboo sticks and stretchy, decorative
string that’s designed to wrap presents to make a bow and arrow, and
should you decide to wad up a bunch of duct tape on the end of your
arrow and soak it with WD-40 so it’ll, you know, burn better, I would
recommend not shooting the flaming arrow onto the roof of a house, or
into the lap of your friend’s cousin. Even by accident."
- Patrick Hughes, speaking from personal experience
"If you accidentally rear-end another car while driving, Florida law
dictates that you must stop and confer with the affected party. Turns
out just waving to let folks know you’re alright while driving away is
a little something the state troopers like to call “leaving the scene
of an accident.”"
- Patrick Hughes, speaking from personal experience
"I once went 13 YEARS without drinking. Then I hit high school and it
was all kinda downhill from there."
- Modern Drunkard Magazine, Staff Member
"Whoever said that the human body is a beautiful thing has clearly
never spent an afternoon by the swimming pool at the Merton Hotel in
Jersey."
- Richard Herring
"The lordship of a manor confers no title. Oh, you could call yourself
a lord, but everyone else would call you a prick."
- Terry Pratchett
"Just imagine we are meeting the aliens for the first time. Most
people would just shoot them to see how many points they are worth."
- Simon Cozens
A computer programmer is someone who, when told to "Go to Hell", sees
the "Go to", rather than the destination, as harmful."
- Unknown
"If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, there's going to be
one big-ass fight over where to set the thermostat."
- Jim Rosenberg
"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group
for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
- Drew Carey
"Don’t use one of those little Handi-Vac things to empty an ashtray.
Because the inrush of air could potentially reignite any fading
embers. And, uh, a big jet of flame might shoot out of the thing,
surprising you and making you scream like a ten-year-old girl. And you
might knock over your beer."
- Patrick Hughes
"Should you ever decide to use bamboo sticks and stretchy, decorative
string that’s designed to wrap presents to make a bow and arrow, and
should you decide to wad up a bunch of duct tape on the end of your
arrow and soak it with WD-40 so it’ll, you know, burn better, I would
recommend not shooting the flaming arrow onto the roof of a house, or
into the lap of your friend’s cousin. Even by accident."
- Patrick Hughes, speaking from personal experience
"If you accidentally rear-end another car while driving, Florida law
dictates that you must stop and confer with the affected party. Turns
out just waving to let folks know you’re alright while driving away is
a little something the state troopers like to call “leaving the scene
of an accident.”"
- Patrick Hughes, speaking from personal experience