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The breathelessly awaited Battlefield 3 has finally arrived, and after a few hours of play time, has managed to aquire some snorts of derision (from me, but I am sure some of my cronies would add to that chorus of snorts).

One wonders why EA/DICE have completely broken the design of the game? There is the old addage, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it". EA/DICE should really have taken that to heart. Instead we are left with a horrible mess that is known as Battlefield 3, or by some, "That piece of crap".

Oddly enough, even on 'Low' settings, the game runs very well at Full Screen on my 8800GT SLI rig at my default desktop res of 1680x1050. It looks better, and performs better than Battlefield Bad Company 2 at the same settings. In fact, some of the visuals are quite breathtaking - just don't look in the direction of the sun, though, lest you be blinded with Photoshop-esque lense flares. That effect is terribly overdone. I wouldn't be surprised if JJ Abrams didn't have a hand in the design aesthetic somewhere. In fact, "running around blind" has become a core part of the game play. If it's not the sun blinding you, then it's idiots - pardon me, I mis-spelled team mates - running around with torches or red laser sights blinding you, or - the horror - running in to an enemy who deftly blinds you and shoots you dead.

Gameplay aside, one wonders what the architect of Battlefield 3 was smoking, when they decided in order to play the game, you need to have the resource hog called 'Origin' running at all times. On my system, this beast consumes around 80MB of ram, considering that it does nothing for me but lets me launch Battlefield 3. Oh, and not to mention allows people to bug me with inane messages while I'm lying dead on the floor, blinded and shot by a team mate. To add insult to injury, you are also required to have your default browser loaded at all times (thanks Firefox, you memory hog of note - I love you, but do you have to consume 400Mb of ram on my system while I'm trying to play Battlefield 3?) This does nothing for me apart from displaying silly "You have been disconnected from the game" messages, or "The Server is full".

It just occurred to me why they have done this. Battlefield 3 is so unstable that it is completely impractical to have it running all the time, so they have delegated the primary tasks of logging in and browsing for servers to your web browser. So the only time the actual Bf3.exe is running is while you are physically playing the game. Even then you can only play the game for a few rounds before you are unceremoniously dumped to the desktop with an above mentioned error message, or an apparent freeze, where if you switch to the Task Manager, you are able to view a small dialog that says "Bf3.exe has stopped working". Genius.

I was reading the EA FAQ, and one of the questions asked was "Does BF3 have VOIP". The cheery answer was "YES! - It is handled by Battlelog!"
The not-so-cheery truth is that it is in fact handled by a plugin called ESN Sonar. It only works for "Party Chat" which allows an apparent maximum of 20 people, and does not allow you to communicate with your squad or team mates, unless they happen to be in the party chat with you. So stuff the camaderie that Battlefield 2's brilliant VOIP solution brought you, and suck up the crap that EA/DICE force you to have. Or not. We have gone back to using mumble.

An incredibly puzzling decision on the part of DICE, is to freeze players in place before a round starts. You are also required to have 8 players before a round starts. So no more exploring on an empty server. No more learning to fly jets or choppers. What the heck, DICE?
So instead we have to wait, frozen in place, for somebody to realize that there are people trying to get a server going. There's 1 person left to join, get ready, get read... oh. A few people got bored and left. Now we have to wait for more people to join. Sigh. Really?

And once you finally get a game going, it seems the squad management has issues... or at least, nobody really seems to know how it works.
You try join a particular squad... and for some reason there is no join button. So you have a ton of difficulty joining a squad with your friends. There are tons of squads available, plenty of empty slots in squads, and the game helpfully tells you that there are no squad slots available. Pardon? If you're lucky, you either run around the whole game not in a squad, or you get shoved into a random squad with people you don't necessarily know. That wouldn't be so bad if you could actually talk to them, though. Wait! You can! Oh, no, you actually can't. Liars.

Speaking of communication... for some reason, again ignoring the previously mentioned addage, the chat dialog that pops up IN YOUR FACE, blocking your view, every time there is an inane utterance from some or other tool. I mean player. And, thankfully, the dialog disappears before you can figure out just what happened to you, and why are you staring at your hand? It also seems, that there is no way to bring up the chat dialog to see what has transpired once it disappears after it's brief 3 nanosecond appearance. So, in order to follow a conversation happening in chat, or see which knob it was that uttered a foul word so you can go kick his bottom off the server, you need to type something, or wait for somebody to type something, and heck, you can no longer see what's just been said because it has disappeared off the top of the screen.

Sample of chat dialog (it pops up at the middle right of your screen):

===========================================
TOOLKNOB SAYS TO ALL:
blah blah blah-de-blah, I'm a knob.

ADMIN SAYS TO ALL:
SOMEDOUCHE BANNED: GAMEHACK

T0rchF|asher SAYS TO TEAM:
wahhhh torch in your face wooo!

TheFl4533 SAYS TO ALL:
wth? get that thing outta my face!

ADMIN SAYS TO ALL:
NOTHERDOUCHE BANNED: AIMBOT
===========================================

And that's all you can see, for 3 nanoseconds at a time. It's quite difficult to follow what the heck is going on most of the time.

I really don't know why they didn't create the chat window in exactly the same place and format as in Battlefield Bad Company 2: At the top left of the screen, ALL channel in orange, TEAM channel in blue, and SQUAD in green. There is no need to waste an extra line telling us what channel is being broadcast to.

Regarding the voice overs - does it really need to have so much swearing? Yes, it's an adult game. But not all adults appreciate swearing. Especially when it appears to be in every single voiceover line. And there's no option to disable it. At least in BF:BC2, one could mute the voiceover audio channel. In BF3, no such luck, Charlie! The mind boggles.

There are many things wrong with this game. And yes, there are many things right with it too. Some things will most likely be fixed in a patch, and some things will most likely not. It's hard to say at this juncture; the game has only just been released. We need to get used to the quirks - until they are fixed, at least.

I must say, though, that I am enjoying the game, despite the quirks and annoyances.

I very much enjoyed the previous three Pirates movies, especially the third one is, in my eyes, underrated. I didn't expect too much from this one, so it was hard to be disappointed.

Storywise, as indicated in the sequel hook of PotC 3, it's now all about the Fountain of Youth. Jack Sparrow, Barbossa, Blackbeard (Edward Teach) and the Spaniards all want to find said fountain for their own reasons and motivations. I can go with that angle, since the series has had a touch of the supernatural from day 1.

However, watching Penelope Cruz 'act' is excruzciating. I can off hand think of a few Latinas who are prettier, can act better, have a much less unpleasant accent - or one or more of the above. I won't go as far as to say that she ruined the movie, but she certainly threw a spanner in the works. Unfortunately for the movie itself, it would have been better without her - but still not great.

It was touted as a more down-to-earth, character-focused film, after PotC 3 admittedly went a bit over the top. However, none of the characters really stand out. Say no more about Penelope Cruz, but even Johnny Depp seems a bit hampered in the role that will always be associated with his name and that he completely defined over the course of three films. Geoffrey Rush as Barbossa seems just a little ridiculous this time, after he did ham 'n cheese so well in the previous instalments. Ian McShane as Blackbeard - well, I've seen him in three roles now, and somehow he's never the character, he's always Ian McShane. Kevin McNally (Gibbs) has been reduced to a minor sideshow, and Astrid Bergès-Frisbey (Syrena) does not get a chance to shine, so the only delightful moments she gets to provide are the shots that bring out her (beautiful) eyes. (Yes, I mean eyes, not "eyes").

The series' wonderfully ironic humour has mostly been reduced to slapstick, some of the plot elements made me roll my eyes (Blackbeard's zombified crew? Bitch please!) and the conclusion is as unsatisfying as the dramaturgy is wobbly. Right now I don't know if I should hope that they do it better for the next instalment, or that they can the franchise entirely. Watchable, but entirely forgettable.

All right, taking cognizance of the debate this movie has sparked, I thought of a couple of ways to start my review. I think my first sentiments should be that I watched it. Twice.

Yes, I like this flick. Actually, I like Zack Snyder. He first caught my attention when he brought Frank Miller's 300 to life. I enjoyed 300, despite it not necessarily being historically accurate, but as an action-romp, it did the trick. Following that, Snyder directed Watchmen, another project based on a comic book series (like 300), this time a slightly deeper account on what it takes to be a hero - a story with salt.

What I like (maybe even love) about Zack's work, is that he stays true to the comic book. Above an beyond staying true to a story, he uses and sets up his shots like they are featured in the comic book, IE, he uses the comic books to a large extent as his story board - something SEVERELY lacking in other comic book movies, yet extremely prevalent in 300 and Watchmen. It's a great nod to the comic book artists, but also a way to ingratiate yourself with the fans. Additionally, and I think it's pretty rad, Sucker Punch (as far as I could tell) is Snyder's own invention, and it still has an incredible comic book feel to it. I wonder how the new Superman would be if it's shot in this style? Though I sincerely doubt it will be. (Yes, Snyder is doing Man of Steel, the next superman installment in cinemas next December, with the producing power of Christopher Nolan of Batman/Inception fame)

So Sucker Punch? What is it? What are we supposed to get out of it? Perhaps it's a story of self-empowerment through fantasy? Baby Doll escaping to the dark recesses of her imagination from a much darker reality. Or perhaps, like 300, it's an over-the-top fully-loaded action-romp, with slow-mo sequences where it's needed. Yes, some critics find this tactic overused and annoying, but personally I love it when the slow down the action to highlight each epic move. If I had to label it, I would say it's a very lekker action movie locked onto a capable story.

So ja, I enjoyed the movie. It was easy to follow, and though nary a word was spoken in the first couple of minutes, the pictures and music successfully introduced us to the plight of the innocent Baby Doll. Speaking of music, I absolutely love the way Snyder used music through the movie to set the tone, splicing the familiar with the unfamiliar (by using revamped cover versions of cult songs), much like Baby Doll's "dream" sequences - A re-imagining if you will . What i did miss was that edge-of-your-seat feeling. I don't know, I was a bit ambivalent about the fates of the girls. While I liked them, and wanted them to succeed (as you do most protagonists), I was more interested in what random fantasy would be next and how the items will be used, than if the girls are OK or not.

As for the actors, I think Emily Browning (Baby Doll) did a good job of being this master shogun assassin super deluxe el-supremo, whilst still looking like a meek and mild innocent young girl. I don't know, that kinda makes her awesome. That being said, I don't know if that was through pure acting talent, or sheer inability to provide anything more than an artificial emotion. Seeing as she was cast in 'Sleeping Beauty', I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt for now, but we'll have to wait for future projects to make our mind up about her. And it was lovely to see Scott Glen in the role of this film's Yoda.

Last line? I give it a sober/drunk/stoned 7. It's original, but it's not fresh. It's hot girls with guns and swords, epic action in a breathtaking environment, and that's all good and well, but it's really not much more than that. I think if you spend more time developing the characters and the story, this would make a much better game than a movie.

Souper treated us to the black Wii fitness package (console + balance board + Wii controller and numchuck) for our upcoming anniversary - as I'm very much a gaming chick, it was a perfect gift!

With friends coming over for a party, we went out and looked at various party games that could incorporate multiplayer mode, and allow for hours of fun. The gaming range is not very wide in PE, but recently our Toys R Us have expanded, which stock the biggest range of titles.

I managed to get my hands on Raving Rabbids 2 - Party Collection, which I have enjoyed immensely.

The game allows three main modes of play:

Rayman mode, where you play as Rayman, and unlock various other aspects to the game (such as outfits, new songs to play etc). The challenges are fun, they include shooting games, balance games, racing games etc. All very engaging and physically demanding (your arms get tired really quickly). I've only played solo on this mode - I don't think you can play with others here, but I stand to be corrected. I'll have to check it out, but Souper is hogging the Wii (Star Wars games ). There is a storyline that you follow in this mode, but I haven't gotten far enough to work out what it is.

Raving Rabbids II mode allows you to travel, either alone or with up to 4 other players (all requiring their own controllers + numchucks), to various countries. In each country you compete in 6 mini game challenges - such as shooting, racing, balancing and moving, band hero, etc. They are all very enjoyable and highly entertaining to play and watch (Drusky and myself competed last night, with Souper rolling on the couch shouting in laughter ) You can also customize your own trip, and combine the 6 games from various countries that you enjoy the most.

Party Mode allows you to play solo, multiplayer, train or share your scores online. The solo mode allows you to open up various games (there are 50 mini games) that range from moose-sledding, shooting zombie rabbids, dancing, band-hero, running and posing etc. The games are hilarious, keeping in tradition with the craziness of the rabbids. The multiplayer mode allows you to compete in all the mentioned games together.

The main idea behind the party mode is that the bunnies have taken over the tv (as they get trapped inside - there is a little mini movie to watch) and you have to complete a game that fills up a time slot - once successfully completed it allows you to go onto the next time slot - eventually opening up 8 time slots for 5 week days. You can choose what type of game you want to play for each time slot, i.e. I enjoyed the "band-hero" and dance ones, so I alternated between those until they ran out - then I moved onto the other ones. Once you have completed all time-slots for each day successfully the bunnies finally break free - and you have completed the story for party mode. We haven't played all days yet, I've only completed 17% of party mode so far, and I've played a lot!

It's perfect for group gatherings, but those who prefer "real" games such as Star Wars and Need for Speed will find the quirkiness of the game tends to get very frustrating after a while and you long for "normality" - cue Souperman's review

The game requires both controller + numchucks to be attached for all games - even though you don't always use the numchuck, it won't allow you to play until it is connected. You can use your balance board for a lot of the games, but you don't have to have one or use it. It's quite fun for driving and sledding and you sit on the board and steer with your bum, but if you don't have a board you simply use your controller as a steering wheel.

It is lots of fun for the whole family, although I don't think that little ones (7 or below) will be able to do well in some games as they required a lot of fine motor co-ordination. I suppose it depends on your toddlers abilities.

Trailer below: