There is something to be said about IRC...

[rainy]

If IRCers don't idle, they actually provide some amusement. As to be seen on

http://qdb.us/ - IRC quote database

http://qdb.us/latest - Latest Quotes
http://qdb.us/top - Top50 quotes

[senorblinky]

Oh my holy soul, i had SOOOO much difficulty not laughing out loud on this one, it's absolute MAGIC! I KILLED MYSELF!

My favourites:
<SpannerGO0> HEY BICTHES
*** SpannerGO0 was kicked by sam88 (don't be a douche)
<BicThes> he was talking to me i think
<sam88> whoops

---

<Trinexx[4fk]> Vista makes me feel like a kid again. Not being able to do anything, having to get permission to talk to anybody, not being able to play any of the "cool" games, etc

---

<@hybrid> this commercial said "PeoplePC is your best choice for dial up and find out why JD Power & Associates Ranked Us Best Customer Service Among Dial-Up Service Users"
<@hybrid> and i thought... isnt that like an award for "Happiest Wife in Abusive Relationship?"

---

<Syntacs> I just cut my finger with a disposable tupperware container.
<Syntacs> If I'm ever the victim of a home invasion, I guess I'll know what to defend myself with.
<RedBeard> mini velociraptors?
<Syntacs> Right, but failing that, the disposable plastic containers I keep them in.

---

<Karg> I had a buddy once who thought it'd be real cool to huff glue.
<Karg> He was standing like in the middle of our group and he's like "hey guys, check this shit!"
<Karg> So he gets this glue.
<Karg> On the first huff he squeezes the bottle and ends up gluing his nose shut.
<Karg> Funniest hospital visit ever.

---

fibrosis> It has even been estimated that one in 10 Europeans are conceived in an Ikea bed.
dalamar> That's an awful lot of Ikea beds.
fibrosis> or a handful of very dirty beds

---

And finally...
Merchelo> no one uses cd's
nosmo> You ever wonder where mp3s come from?
nosmo> Your parents didn't give you "the talk"

Man, this was TOO good, thanks rainy!

[w1z4rd]

www.bash.org

<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?

and

<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?

Lots more there

[BambisRevenge]

I LOVED THEM!!! hahahaha packed out laughing at many of them!

haha thanks Rainy! :P

[Sminty]

That password one had tears running down my face...haven't laughed so loud in days!

[w1z4rd]

Love these ones (some may be censored for our younger viewers:

<erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.

<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick f****)
<anamexis> :<

<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
<Ben174> : Where u work?
<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)

<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back f*r"

<death09>my girlfriend broke up with me and sent me pix of her and her new boyfriend in bed
<ktp753>ouch.
<death09>yeah.i sent them to her dad

and

<Sonium> someone speak python here?
<lucky> HHHHHSSSSSHSSS
<lucky> SSSSS
<Sonium> the programming language

I know im spamming but some of these are funny

[Askari]

<Beeth> Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
<honx> well, you can stil get one from a strange country :-P

[TG]

There are some frikkin' brilliant quotes there. And Lolla keeps asking me why I'm giggling.

[Sminty]

The people in the office are looking at me funny...it doesn't really work when you put your hand over your mouth when you laugh....I have noticed.

[senorblinky]

This has GOT to be infamous by now

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
--------------
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

I hope i get to meet this smacktard, just so i can moer him!