We are a community consisting of mostly warped computer gamers from all over South Africa that have joined together to meet people, and tea-bag them. We do not take games seriously, and we’re not particularly competitive. Mainly because trying to organize something in this place is like trying to herd cats. Most games we play are just an excuse to harass and annoy your clan mates. We’re odd like that.
If you’re looking for serious hardcore players, then this clan is not for you. Seriously. We suck at everything. When we don’t suck, we consider that luck.
We just want to have fun, and hopefully kick some virtual ass while doing it. If we don’t kick ass, we sulk a lot, and mope on the forums, generally making the place all smelly. And don’t even get me started on that Animosity guy…
If we lose a game, we sulk for a while and when someone notices us, we keep really quiet, look away and cough. We’ve been known to hide in bushes. I’m not telling what has happened while people have been hiding in the alleged bushes. Yes, we allege that they were bushes. We’re not saying nuffink. Shh.
If we win, we make sure to puff out our chests, and pat each other on the bums like the cricketers do, BNITPMKOW (But Not In That Prison Movie Kind Of Way)thanks Blinky (Ok, maybe some are ITPMKOW - especially from Blinky, but not all). And don’t even get me started on that other fella.
In order to become a member of the War Geeks clan, you need to be invited by an existing clan member. This means that you need to get to know us a bit, and we need to get to know you. We may ask obvious questions, like “Are you delicious when spread on toast?”. The best way to interact with us is to register on our forums, and start posting, and take part in the shout box (if there is one on the current software whim of Le Grand Poobah). Don’t be a lamer and post one word responses, or go dig up a years old thread just to add ‘lol’. I keel j00. In fact, I keel j00 so much that I’ll scratch you off my xmas card list. Twice. In triplicate.
There are a number of requirements you need to fulfill in order to be considered for an invitation to the clan:
###Requirements:
- You must be 18+ [s]and hot, single and female[/]. We do have younger members, but that’s because we need slave labour. Somebody has to re-stock the fridge from time to time (Note: if you’re digging around in the fridge, I’ve already licked everything).
- You should be located in South Africa or nearby, and be able to play the games that we do. If you’re not in South Africa, then hopefully you originated from here. We’re locationist bastards. We may ask you some questions to prove your knowledge of South Africa, for example: Port Elizabeth is a hive of scum and villainy, bush molesters, and tank hoes. This is a statement, not a question
- You should have a sense of humour. Sometimes we take the piss out of each other, and some of us don’t know when to stop, so having a thick skin would help a lot. Ask Gascan about GTA races, if you dare.
Before we officially invite you, we will discuss it among our selves for a number of days, weeks, months, centuries, and then we will create an invitation thread somewhere. Obviously you should have created a forum account by now, huh? You will be required to post in that thread, and give us some info about yourself. Just be warned: It is very likely - in fact, guaranteed - that the thread will stray off topic, and start discussing the benefits of going commando in lederhosen. Or how terrible the invention of non-alcoholic beer is. Or… wait, SQUIRRELS!
Your initial post should at least contain some of the info below:
- Bank account details or other bribe
- PIN NUMBER This is very important.
- Chok’lit sacrifice to the Queen of The Universe (Oh, and don’t forget to say hello to ‘The Universe’ aka Souper). The Queen likes to bite the ears off easter bunnies. Or so I hear. But they can’t. Poor bunnies.
- Your opinion on Ice Cream Socks (I still don’t know what the fudge this is all about, but I was told to put this here, on pain of having legs waxed. Evil bastards.)
We prefer that members be at least 18 years old [-]and hot, single and female[/-], mainly because we’re a bunch of old farts. I mean, heck, some of us are gasp in our 30’s (and much, much older). What? Speak up, sonny!
We do encourage nepotism (And no, that’s not a fancy word for nipple fetish, mkay?), being a spouse, sister, brother, child or parent of a WrG member usually means you can get in to the clan quite easily. It also means that you are open to all sorts of abuse. Haha. Muhahaha. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAA! (I like cupcakes)
Should you become a member of the War Geeks (I suggest setting up an appointment with your therapist then), there are some rules that you will need to be aware of (See the Rules & Guidelines thread in this forum for further info), although the most important rule is to not fade away in to obscurity. We’re friends here, and if you just go away and stop talking to us, it means we will need to go back to therapy 
What you get with your membership:
- Sport the nifty WrG or clan tag in your games (Remember to suck in your gut if anybody kills you - gotta make a good impression!) (Close your mouth when you get tea-bagged. I mean,spit spit spit)
- Chat to other clan members via some or other IM flavour of the day, or whatever your favourite means of being stalked is.
- Get stalked on Facebook and/or Twitter.
- Hear all the weird accents and deep voices (You will be surprised to learn that Uchi is actually a woman) that various members have via whatever the current flavour of VOIP is. Listen to drunken arguments, rage quits and yells of HAX, FAGIT and other loud expletives! We’ve cleaned it up. Flatspin left. Unfortunately TG is still here.
- Animosity will finally have a friend!
- Read the forums. Leave confused.
- An excuse to see your therapist.
- Your cell number scrawled on the back of a nearby public toilet stall door, free of charge.
- Mysterious phone calls in the middle of the night (Free service, heavy breathing included)
Be a Geek. Be a War Geek.
Updated 09 March 2016
