Funny Jokes

I’ve tried numerous times to apply myself, but nothing seems to stick.


You’ve probably become unglued.


I’m not sure how the rest of us will adhere to that idea

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You need to cease and adhesive.

Did you guys hear about the medical book which had no appendix?

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Click this:

The irony. :laughing:

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For all of us that gets caught up in solutions and trying to make heads or tails of what customers want …


reminds me of my old job. torturous specification meetings involving a few engineers and a lot of MBA’s


Things That It Took Me Over 30 Years To Learn

  1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

  2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”

  3. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”

  4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

  5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

  6. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

  7. Never lick a steak knife.

  8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

  9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

  10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby.

  11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

  12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

  13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

  14. Your friends love you anyway.

  15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

  16. Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it’s up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

“Heart is the engine of the Body. But Brain is the engine of Life. Between Mind & Heart…” Enigma


I just checked and i see that is down.

I was wondering is there any way to please get access to the old funny jokes thread? Even if its just a raw data dump.

Sorry, I no longer have a copy of that. :frowning:

ahh bummer :dizzy_face: